finding my purpose

I know its been awhile but here is a post from my heart tonight.

Ok so this isn’t a rant but just a few thoughts coming from my heart…
I was sitting in church tonight and the pastor is talking about things that pull us from god and it struck me how the blessings that god has given me over the last few months I may have brushed them off to some people. Not because I didn’t think they were events that god placed in my life but because I just didn’t know how to explain them.
God is the number one in my life and sometimes it’s just hard to explain that relationship to my friends and family. Recently I quit my job. I was asked the other day why I did that when I didn’t have another one lined up and no job in sight either. I answered with I just thought it was time to leave but in reality it was so much more than that. I had been praying about timing and leaving my job for months because I knew that I would have to eventually because in August I am going back to school full time and cannot work at my current job in order to do that. He also pushed me to change my major and risk everything and trust him with my education as well.
As many know I spent the last three years going after a nursing degree that I felt was necessary but the last 6 months I have had a major shift. God has worked with me and I don’t feel that is the path that he is putting me towards anymore. Many don’t understand why. Why would I change my major from a good profession to one that wont guarantee me a job at all? I just have to trust God and know that he has so much more planned for me. Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” I trust him and though people may not understand that this is what I go to tell me that this is where I’m coming from.
So back to the question I was asked about why I chose to quit my job. I told her I just felt like it was the right time to leave and that once I left I had all of these plans come forth for my summer but really, though those things happened its not the reasons. What I should have said but didn’t was that I have been praying about the right time to leave and that one night I prayed about it and I felt God was answering me. The next day I went to register for summer classes because there is one class I still need to take this summer and I was planning on taking it online so that I could work through the summer. Well God had another plan. The only class available was an in class section 4 days a week for 2 hours. Right in the middle of my shifts I might add. Here was my answer in front of me. I had to take this class so my education comes first so I quit. But did I tell this person this, no.
Though this isn’t an offense it does go to show that I didn’t truly show the true blessing that God was laying before me. Since leaving that job I have been blessed with more than I could ever imagine. I am going on a vacation for the first time in 4 years, I am going to be a counselor at summer camp that I have always wanted to do and I am coaching soccer and I love to coach (also something I have been praying about).
I am not perfect and I know that God knows where my heart is and that I truly think that its all due to him but I just was thinking about this after the service tonight and how it just starts with one thing like not saying how blessed you are about all God has worked through your life. I don’t want to stand on the thought that Jesus came and offered grace because he also came to fulfill the law and it says in Mathew 5:17 that he came not abolish the law but to fulfill it.
Six months I gave myself a word to focus on for an entire year and to see where God will lead me. My word is worth. I never felt worthy before. But over the last six months I have seen more blessings and God has worked more in my life than I have ever seen before. I chose to put him first and asked him for a deeper relationship. This is what he has transpired so far. These were just a few of my thoughts tonight and I know it was long but I hope you are still with me.


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